Member-only story
I was at lunch with my sister the other day, and she was upset because her mother hadn’t returned her call or text yet, which isn’t unusual. She called her mother later that night and left an angry voicemail (which also isn’t unusual).
I asked why she was being so aggressive with her mom, and my sister said She shouldn’t have hurt me like that! I asked what happened that made her feel hurt by her mom, and my sister said She didn’t answer the phone!
The Problem
A common complaint among parents and other loved ones is that someone they care about just doesn’t seem to get it. The person they care about is often making a choice to hurt them and not taking responsibility for doing so. It’s easy enough to put all of your blame on someone else, but it’s also important to recognize how we may be playing a role in our pain as well.
Here are some questions you should ask yourself:
How am I hurting myself?
What can I do differently?
What needs am I trying to meet by acting in certain ways with others?
In what ways do my thoughts, feelings, and actions influence my situation?
The Causes
There are a lot of reasons why our loved ones hurt us. It can be they’re…
