Member-only story
This article is a rallying cry to those of you who want a life that is not dictated by the whims of others and instead chases after your own dreams.
Every day I see people doing everything they can just to make someone else happy, holding their tongue when they want to speak up, crossing the street when they would rather stop and chat on the corner, rewriting an email because it wasn’t well received. You might be thinking this sounds noble or selfless or hardworking. But this type of behavior will only make you unhappy in the long run. Here are 15 reasons why it’s not worth being a people-pleaser:
1. It diminishes your sense of self
No one likes an inauthentic person. People-pleasing requires you to put your own needs on the back burner so much that you forget who you are and what you actually want. You become so busy squeezing yourself into whatever mold someone else has made for you that eventually your true self gets lost.
2. It means relationships will never feel authentic
People become nervous when they are around someone who is always trying to make them happy, and there is a huge power imbalance between the two of them because only one person has any real say in what goes on. Relationships that…